Death and Dying
Topic: Miscellaneous

He will never come for me. I am certain of that now. He laughs at me, mocking me, grinning his ruthless smile, showing off those perfect ivories. He teases me and takes everyone else, the undeserving.

 

Those perfectly happy people, those who have everything to live for, he takes them but never me. Even those whose lives are more miserable and pathetic than mine, even they are granted the easy way out.

 

Often I wonder if he has a personal vendetta against me. No, I have not tried to stop him; all I've asked is for him to either release his hold, or grab me tighter.

 

But he will grant me no such request. He ignores me and taunts me at the same time. I marvel at his power and greed, his selfishness and wit, his awful sense of humor. He gave me the gift of empathy, but cursed me with an ego. He promised me happiness, but filled me with self-pity. A cruel mentor, I learned from him wrath, vanity, coldness, darkness; he gave me no end.

 

The end cannot even justify the means because, for me, there will be no end. I will exist forever, because he hates me.  For this, he will not grant me that final peace and serenity that so many others are privy to. So many others but me.

 

Suicide is not an option. Never will it be. For if I kill myself it will still be by his hand; his hand that guides mine, whenever he wants to. He will call to me, softly at first, just a murmur on the wind… He will make me wonder. Calling me louder now, putting words in my mouth, thoughts in my head…Plans. His hand will caress mine, and his lips will tickle my ears, whispering, "As you wish it."

 

One day, I will cease to exist. But for now, I can only imagine. For now, I have to be patient, quiet.

 

I am not afraid of him. I'm not afraid to die. I'm not afraid of pain, or guilt, or a misery so deep it creates a hell in my mind. No, I have these all at my disposal.  All I truly fear is living forever.

Twilight Feature Story
Topic: Miscellaneous

Some people have asked, “Has reading books (novels) suddenly gone out of style for teenagers?”  Well, as long as there’s a gorgeous teenage vampire involved, it’s not probable.

            According to a national survey of teens 15-17 years old there has  been a slight decrease in the number of teens who read recreationally on a daily basis.

            “Sometimes I don’t see anyone reading, and then all of a sudden, everyone will be reading the same book.  It’s kind of like a wave thing, it goes up and down,” instructor Valarie Nicholson says.

            But now, Stephanie Meyers’ new series, Twilight, seems to have gotten pretty much every teenage girl in a reading frenzy.

            “It’s an interesting story and I like the way she writes, it’s easier to read,” senior Brittany Garza said.

            The book caters mostly to young women because it is a romance novel, but it has managed to find some male readers as well.

            “I started reading it because my sister was reading it and I liked it because it had vampires and stuff,” freshman David Mejia said.

            The book is about a vampire and a teenage girl who fall in love but encounter many problems due to other evil vampires, werewolves, and an overprotective dad.

            “It’s an easy read when you’re bored.  It’s entertaining, but not very stimulating,” sophomore Syndee Piña, said.

            Despite its simplicity, the book will hopefully act as a catalyst that will encourage more teens to read more often.

When did school start sucking?
Topic: Education

Finished with semester exams.

<p>

Pretty sure I'll end up flipping burgers at the nearest Wendy's.  Either that or I'll be telling fortunes on your street corner.

<p>

A real school would teach me how to deal with that stuff. 

<p>

I effing loved school.  I loved it all the way up to the 4th day of the first semester.  Quickly realized it was all downhill from there.  It's just that this ridiculous school would much rather see me
waving pompoms or performing some mediocre feat of athleticism than see me using my brain.  They'd rather put their money in the buffoons that run around with a ball to win some trophy that they'll
cherish for many many years after they've grown that beer gut and started beating their once-thin-but-after-seven-kids-and-several-would-be-surgeries-what's-the-point-anymore wives.  I mean, just start
with the little things and you'll see how utterly idiotic the people who run this high school are.  The dress code:  doesn't even mean much, and yeah, I'm grateful that we don't have to wear uniforms,
but sometimes, I'd rather do that than have to follow all these ridiculous rules.  These people think that if we wear black nail polish, we're up to no good.  That if we have skulls on our clothing, we're
the devil.  Do you know how hard it is to find clothes that you (in this case, me) like that don't have skulls on them?  (Actually, not to hard for me, I'm not specific... But that's not the point!)
We can't wear tights with dresses... but the skinny girls can definitely wear short skirts and get away with them. 

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This didn't happen to me because I'm not a flag girl, but this one Friday, when all the peppy people were wearing their uniforms, I hear this story in first period.  It was cold that day, you have to
understand, and this girl, Manuela, wanted to wear her pants over her skirt.  (I don't remember what kind of pants they were, all I knew was that they weren't allowed) So she started putting them on and
this RETARDED teacher goes up to her and tells her she can't wear them.  O.O It's freaking cold and they'd rather have her in a skimpy little uniform that basically leaves little to the imagination than
have her warm and modest in pants.  Where are the values of society, I ask?

<p>

The problem with my high school is that we live in a very conservative region and they're so obsessed with tradition and discipline that they ignore all other aspects of school, such as LEARNING!!!  The
NCLB law is only exacerbating this problem by making schools pass all these ridiculously high hoops that only hinder education.  NCLB concentrates on math and reading and promotes rote memorization instead
of trying to instill a love of learning into the individual.  The oldies up in Congress wonder why America's so stupid.  Well, America can only memorize so many facts; after that they don't know what to
do or how to do it (it being something successful in this case) so they just trudge along, doing whatever the everyman is doing.

<p>

I wanna learn, people! I don't want to memorize the rules, I want to learn why they were made, how they were made, I want to make the effing rules, for pete's sake!  Geez, is an education too much to ask
for anymore.

Motions
Topic: Poetry

They say I am depressed

When really, I’m just sad

They tell me I am rage-filled

When sometimes, I get mad.

 

 

They tell me not to cry

Whenever things go wrong

They tell me not to sigh

When I don’t feel so strong.

 

 

They say that I am happy

Because I laugh a lot

But sometimes I just giggle

Good reason or not

 

 

They tell me they can see

Through my faces and my voice

When I’m feeling so anxious

And I don’t have a choice

 

 

I keep them on their toes

Watching me all day

Seeing if my emotions

Are coming out to play

 

Each day I fall in love

What blasphemy, they cry.

But it doesn’t matter who it is,

It’s loving that’s the crime.

 

 

Each day I also hate

Even more than when I love

They all tell me not to

It makes him angry up above.

 

 

They tell me what is wrong

In feeling everyday

They say I should stay happy

To stay normal in that way.

 

 

So this is what they say,

I shouldn’t ever feel

They tell me to stay normal

And never to be real

 

 

I can’t live in this world

If emotions are at stake.

Now that I have found this out

I’m finally awake.

Cliques in School
Topic: Education

Wherever society exists there will be social distinction.  Where there is social distinction there will be certain people who prefer to stick together.  Often they are referred to as social groups but when they exclude certain people, they are called cliques. 

     Some teachers say that cliques are not as evident here as they are in certain other schools, mainly due to the fact that basically all students came from the same kindergarten and everybody knows everybody else.  Yet in the halls, in the cafeteria, and even in classes, there is a certain feeling of separateness of groups. 

     A lot of teens claim that “everybody can sit with everybody else and they won’t be rejected”.  While it is true that many won’t be rejected, it is still rare that people will “sit with everybody else,” especially when they see them more different than what they are used to.

      Often on entering high school, kids who share the same interests tend to flock together because of the unfamiliarity of the situation.  As years pass, they become accustomed to sitting with that group and usually never step out of their own boundaries.

     One student claimed that “there aren’t any cliques, but in the cafeteria you can definitely see how the people divide.  The ‘preppy’ people sit at the top level and the ‘ghetto’ people sit in the lower level.” This not only shows that social divisions are apparent, but also that cliques, while not outwardly exclusionary, exist, if only at a minimal level.

     Social groups, or ‘cliques’, will exist in any school and there isn’t much to be done about it.  People, especially teenagers, will always prefer to stay with the everyday familiarity of the faces in their own cliques.

HIM
Topic: Poetry

Once upon a time, there was a boy

Whose gaze burned mine like coal.

As he stared, he caught my eye

And quite possibly, my soul.

 

This surely wasn’t love;

Yet surely wasn’t lust.

But since I didn’t know,

My heart I could not trust.

 

I soon grew too obsessed,

But still, I didn’t care.

I didn’t think it’d hurt

To only ever stare.

 

Time flew on and on

As boy grew to a man.

I fell into dreaming

As a star-crossed lover can.

 

Not a word we’d spoken yet;

Too soon, he went away.

Time was well against us,

Since ever the first day.

 

Not a word we’ve spoken since

And still, I do not know

If, on that fateful day we met,

He ever took my soul.

 

But if, indeed, my soul he took,

I’d much rather now know

Than spend all my life thinking

That I was ever whole.

Recipe for Individuality
Topic: Recipes

First of all, to be an individual you can’t conform to normal social standards.  This means you have to dress up as weirdly as possible, while still maintaining some form of aestheticism to it.   You can’t dress weird-ugly, otherwise you’ll be rejected by other individuals, but you can’t dress perfectly, because being perfect is being conformist.  If it’s overly done, it’s okay, as long as other individuals are wearing this, too.  Please remember this because otherwise, you won’t be a true individual.

            Secondly, you have to voice your opinions as loudly as you possibly can; make sure everyone hears them.  Even if you have nothing to say, keep mooing and quacking, you’ll come up with something eventually.  Individuals always have an opinion and it’s always right.  That’s why every individual always has the same opinion.

            You can never be alone, that’s another thing.  I mean, what’s the fun in being an individual all by yourself?  Individuals need other unique individuals so that they’re always on the same page about what to wear and what to say.  If possible, always travel in the same little groups so that everything stays as individually unique as possible.

            It’s better if you just spend all your time in stores like Hot Topic developing your individuality so that you can see how other individuals interact.  While you’re there, you can always go above and beyond the call of duty and buy that unique little t-shirt that all the individuals are wearing now (it doesn’t matter if you‘re not really into it, as long as you wear it, other individuals won‘t question you). 

            Oh, did you notice that girl you passed on your way to Trendz?  I’m talking about the one who was wearing simple jeans with a simple black tee and her nose obnoxiously stuck in a book.  She’s obviously not an individual.  Her hair, though dyed, is one color (conformist), she’s all alone (loser), and she’s not reading anything concerning vampires in love (that’s what the individuals are reading).  I’m talking about myself.

            See, I know who I am.  I know that I don’t have to wear certain types of clothes to make me an individual.  I don’t have to voice my opinion if I don’t want to, or even better, I can choose not to have an opinion at all.  I can relish alone time without being lonely or awkward and I can read whatever I want to.  You individuals say you have the same privileges, but I know better.  So if this is what it takes to be an individual, I’d rather be myself.

Topic: Everyday things
My contact ripped today.  I walked around all morning with my left eye covered because if I looked through both my eyes, one of which was already deteriorated, my vision would get worse.  So I had to wait till my mom brought me my glasses.  She's great.